Okay, if I’m going to REALLY write about my life, at some point, I need to be honest about the dysfunction.
Let me share our last birthday party.
My sister, Cass, had a birthday party for her boyfriend’s 12 yr old son. We meet at a local pizza joint. We had a room to ourselves, but we should have had our own building!
I walk in with my two kids and already there are; my sister, her boyfriend and their four kids, her dad, my sister’s boyfriends family, a few other adults and LOTS of 12 year old boys!
I make a trip to the buffet, so far, boring, yeah!
I think I will sit by Cass’ Dad. We don’t have a great relationship (mostly cause we are both really stubborn) but the man did raise me the first 12 years. My Mom and StepDad are no where in sight. Hmm, maybe this is a good thing, and where is my other sister?!?
Kids are eating, I’m eating, wow, this is a really calm party.
Two blissful minutes later, my head is buzzing with…
Holy cow! Why is that baby screaming? And why does she have to be with our party? Why are they “teaching her a lesson” here and now? Why not in the bathroom or better yet at home?
Where are all the 12 yr old boys? Oh, outside climbing on the fence like monkeys. Is that a table they are standing on? Oops, guess so, that manager does NOT look happy.
Why is my son in the corner, curled in a ball with his ears covered? Oh yea, the toddler is still SCREAMING. Wonder if she has learned her lesson yet? Ha
Is that my Mom? You bet ya! She plops down beside me, just in time for cake!
Where are the 12 yr olds now? Oh, I guess they are just going to run amuck inside now. Hmmm, bet the manager wishes he had let them stay outside!
Here comes my son, he is screaming because his ears are still covered and the toddler is getting heated up again.
“Mom,Can I please go outside?”
“Because, apparently kids outside need to have adult supervision.”
“Can I go if an adult goes with me?”
“Because, son, we don’t seem to have any at this party!”
He slinks back to the corner.
At this point the 12 yr old boys are throwing balls they got out of the junk machines in the corner. Wonder if that quarter the Pizza Joint made was worth it?
This party is getting a little hairy! Okay, time for a pep talk. You can do this Sunie! Let your kids eat cake then get out! Fast! Before things get more crazy!
The waitress is hiding in the back (wonder if there is room back there for me?) and Cass’ Dad REALLY wants a refill. I feel a rumble…wait…then he growls. I tuck in my rear and duck down a little (flashbacks). His growl is very real and very scary. It usually precedes his tongue between his teeth then a thump to the head. Where the poo is that waitress?!?
Oww, what just hit me in the head? Stupid boys! Stupid quarter ball! Another growl from beside me, eek!
Is it time to go yet?
Baby girl, clean the cake off your face. We are outta here! Go give hugs. Head to the car.
Cass, do you need help paying for all this? No? Are you sure? Let me help. Oh, kids eat free on Wednesday? Yea, but this is a party! So, not only did we tear the place up but we didn’t pay for our food? Well, ya got guts, I’ll say that for ya!
Where did my kids go? I mime to my son (his ears are still covered. He’s a sensitive little fella.)To the car, babies, run!
Where are the 12 yr olds? There they are, in the parking lot of the store down the street, playing dodgeball. DON’T WAVE!! People will think they belong to us!
Being a mature adult, I called my other sister on the way home.
“I hate you just a little bit right now!”
*giggles* “Hi Sunie, how was the party?”
“Nice of you to make it!! There were a million wild kids and I had to sit in between our Mom and your Dad!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,” (lots of laughter) “How did that go for you?”
“Well, they were on their best behavior but he growled a lot and I’m pretty sure Mom rolled her eyes a couple of times! Plus, I got a little smooshed in their ‘bad vibe” sandwich! If you had been there at least we could have had a two person wide buffer!”
“Hmm, I don’t really feel sorry for you.”
“I got stuck with that duty at the last party, when you didn’t show!”
“I don’t remember that!”
“You wouldn’t! You weren’t there!!!”
“Hmm, good point! See ya at Easter!”
Disclaimer: Obviously, these are my own feelings and opinions about the event. They do NOT reflect the feelings of other family members. And if someone spits in my food at Easter, I’m going to be REAL mad!! lol